How to know I've hammered in 2017

2017 is my year to hammer,

I go buy Hummer

and a Ranger Rover

(Oshey, my rap skills are improving).

Seriously, I want to suceed and 'blow' this year but I heard that I need to define what it means to 'blow' or 'hammer' so these are ways I'll know I've hammered;

  • I'll have that big man laughter; you know that subtle confident 'hehehe' Pete Edochie and Olu Jacobs have in Nollywood movies. Once I can laugh like that, I'll know I've hammered.
  • I can afford to be humble; that type of annoying humbility where I can say 'It's just God' or 'nothing dey happen' when obviously a lot is happening for me. I can afford to wear slippers to an event and people will call me humble.
  • People call anyone who criticizes me a hater; if someone dares offer a dissenting opinion, there will be a lot of people to scream 'hater' at the person.
  • I won't be interested in the dollar rates; ko kan mi rara, I'm balling, I can buy anything.
  • People accuse me of being a runs girl or sleeping around; when the lord blesses a female beyond human comprehension, people attribute it to runs because they cannot comprehend such a blessing. 
  • I will have the quiet aura of success; No need to over dress or seek attention. I can step into an event without pomp and pageantry and once people find out who I am, they start scrambling to serve me apologizing for not recognizing me earlier.
  • My opinions and comments are published and regarded as relevant for discussion. In fact they can be quoted by world leaders. Do I think women should inherit property, once I say it, it becomes a topic for suggestion. 
  • The blogs stalk my social media handles; because they know anything I post makes the news.
  • I will spoil my mother; mama when your girl hammer, she go buy you Range Rover. Giving my mother the elitist treatment without looking at my bank account is a sign of hammering.
Feel free to let me know what 'hammering' means to you.

2017 is our year.

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