Before you take that advice

Nigerians are noted for our tendency to offer advice - whether you like it or not. We do not mind our business oh and this is because we are interested in the lives of others - to be honest, it is not necessarily because we have your best interest at heart.

However, here are guidelines to follow before you take advice from anyone:

  •  Know who the person is; You need to know a person well, their intentions, motives and who they are in general. Are they hateful people, good people, people who have or do not have a mind of their own? It is essential that we know the people that are offering advice to us.                         
  • Evaluate your relationship with this person; Family is extremely concerned about your life. Friends are concerned about your life. With friends and family, they are also concerned about their reputations because your behavior and how you eventually turn out is linked to their life. Now you understand why family and friends may be extremely skeptical about you taking risks. With family and close friends, there is also confirmation bias hence they may be blinded to the ways you've grown/changed. That's why words from a random stranger can be insightful.
  • Evaluate what this person stands to gain/lose from your life; A guy who's asking a teenage girl out and telling her to grow up/loosen up wants to have fun with his youth. Her brother fighting the guy is protecting his sister. A boss asking you to stay on his team might wants to make career and business growth.
  • Has the person earned critic rights; Regardless of how a person fares in the points raised above, critic/advise rights have to be earned and this can be done in two ways;
    • By succeeding; It's funny to see poor people advising the rich on how to handle their finances or people who haven't succeeded in an aspect offering advice. While we should listen to everyone, it is important to note that 'wisdom is justified by her children'. 'physician heal thyself'.
    •  By showing how much they care; The best advise should come from a place of love and genuine concern. Some people try to run us down and cover it up with the ever popular 'it's for your own good'.
 Regardless of how a person fares in the points above, it is essential to listen to everyone, reflect on every feedback received but most importantly, take our own decisions.

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